I have to apologize to my friend Traci.  When describing her poems, I described some of the as egotistical.  That was completely the wrong word to use.  I was trying to convey that she writes with a lot of compassion and confidence.  Hell, with some of the stuff she writes, she has to!  One thing that I want to put out to everybody is that I have NEVER known Traci to be egotistical in her life. Not even once.  Traci is one of the most compassionate and giving people I have ever met.  She truly touches everybody she meets in such a positive way.  Traci is a wonderful mother to her three daughters, a wonderful wife to her husband, and a beautiful friend to all that she meets.  I love Traci for who she is and what she contributes to this often depressing and dreary world.  Once again, Traci, I'm sorry.

  I have this friend named Traci.  And yes, Tracy, I did spell it right. ;-).  Traci is one of the best people in the world.  If anybody needs an ear, a shoulder, or the shirt off her back, she's right there for you, and with you.  Always willing to offer a comforting thought.  Sorry guys, she's taken.  Her husband Dale is a very lucky man to have her.  Fortunately, he realizes this and treats her very well.  Anyway, Traci is a very gifted writer, and I'd like to share one of her poems with you.  Some of her poems and writings are dark.  Some are sad.  Some are egotistical.  One thing that they all have in common is heart.  If you'd like to leave a comment for Traci about her rhythmic literary works, post one and I'll see to it that she gets it. 

The following was posted on December 6, 2009.  This one in particular means something to me. My reasons for this are my own, but it shows true heart and compassion.  Enjoy.

I found out yesterday that I had been wrong for over 20 years. That might be my record so far. 20 years. Me. WRONG. Who would've thunk it? So, part of this is the actual conversation, and part of this is creative imagination. In either case I ate some humble pie and learned a lesson. IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!! LOL

He asked, "Don't you remember how we used to laugh?"
...and I was back on that porch, fifteen years old
smoking cigarettes in the freezing cold
stealing kisses in the dark until my Dad turned on the light
and taking forty minutes just to say goodnight.
Sneaking over to your house on a well worn path, and I said, 
"Yeah, I remember how we used to laugh."

He asked, "So, why do you dwell on the bad things then?"
...and I couldn't really answer because I don't really know
It was just easier to hate you and to just let it grow
Because if I kept the wound open it would never heal
and I got tired of carrying guilt that you didn't feel
But there were more good times than bad, so now that you've asked,
Of course I remember how we used to laugh.

He asked, "What does Dale think of all this?"
What does he think? He keeps me sane.
Without him I'm lost, he takes on my pain.
He asked, "When did you know he was your other half?"
"He was the first one since you who ever made me laugh."

So, he said, "There it is, Traci. Now do you see?"
It kills me to say this, but OK, you're right
I kinda, sorta like conflict and I really love to fight
Sometimes it's kind of nice to find out you were wrong
but if you ask me to repeat that I will sing a different song
I'm glad I held your hand, briefly, on life's path
But I think we loved each other best when we made each other laugh.

  So my daughter has a blog.  I'm pretty proud of it.  She has some interesting insight on things.  Go ahead and take a look. You can find it here.

  First, a few technical notes.  I've spent a couple of hours on this site today getting the comments to work and adding some new features to them.  I am pretty sure that they are working again.  If you have a moment, please leave a comment for me. I'd like to verify that they are actually working.  I've moved all previous content to the archives.   Now, that page is taking forever to open.  So, if you feel the urge to check things out there, have patience.  I've also removed some posts and references that I deem irrelevant anymore.  At some point, I'll probably create a second archives page and hopefully that will alleviate the slow loading time. OK, in checking some things out, I'm once again not positive if the comments are working.  Maybe they are.  Those may be the source of the slow page load.  Crap. Well, onto my thoughts.....

UPDATE:  Comments are working!  But, they are taking a while to load.  I'm still looking into it.

UPDATE 2: Ok, I think I have the performance issue solved.  For those that are interested, I was running an individual script after each entry for the comment. I replaced all scripts with a single script after the final <DIV> tag.  That seems to have done the trick.  The only problem is that I seem to have lost all comments on the archive page.  I'll see what I can do to get them back.

Why is it that things that you seem to want the most are the most difficult things to acquire?  Is it supposed to be like that?  Does that mean that it's not supposed to be? Does it mean that if you work hard enough to actually get it, it's going to be that much more worth it?  I'm hoping the latter.

So the divorce has been progressing slowly.  Unfortunately, the other half of this process has not been cooperating with the effort.  Today she is going to be coming over and hopefully we'll get the paperwork finished up and turned in on Monday.  I am so looking forward to that.  Thus the title of this entry.  I'm really trying to move on and get through this. I know I will, but it is quite difficult. Not because I have any remorse about going this direction, but dealing with the kids, dealing with the soon to be ex, etc.  Thankfully I have an extremely good network of friends. 

I know the question that is burning in everybody's mind.  Am I seeing somebody?  Officially, I'd have to say no.  That's all I'm going to say about that right now.  It's complicated.  Not to understand, but there are some things I don't want to put all over the internet.  I hope my 3 faithful readers will understand. 

I've can say that I've been pretty busy lately.  I guess that isn't necessarily true though.  I've been busy doing things I want to do.  I could be making time for other things (like updating this), but I'm satisfied with what I've been up to.  Hanging with the kids and talking to certain people. 

My boy is bugging me to press some buttons so I'm going to let him participate in my blog.  Here goes:  bytryferkyjhmdyr ben bobby

OK, enough of that.  Well, I'm  going to go and refill my coffee.  Believe it or not, I've spent about 3 hours on this thing this morning and now it's time to spend some time with the kids.